Of houseboys , madams and cups

The cream.

The picture.

The cup.

He brought out his phallus and took a deep breath. He was not in the mood but he had to , this was his only chance . Everything was perfect and would be easier with the picture , her picture.

He gently squeezed out the cream out of the container and into his palm . He rubbed both palms together and gently placed them on his phallus. The contrast of the temperature of his palms against the warmth of his penis was nice.

He got the rhythm and his hands kept doing the work , they were adapted to this. He didn’t need the picture anyway, he had a mental one. Everything was going well,he shut his eyes tighter.

Just like every time he came,he squeezed his toes and held his breath. The early sperm shot out and he quickly knelt down so he came directly into the cup. He needed just a little anyway.


“Vincent , is the rice done?”
Madam entered with her shoes in hand.

“Remain small ma”

He added the sperm to the boiling rice and rinsed the cup. He went to his room and gently put the cup back in his locker.

“You no go chop?”,
Madam asked him.

“I don full,na only your own I cook”,
he replied

she stood up,leaving the empty plate of rice on the stool.

He smelled her chair and took the plate to the kitchen.


“Well,you do know you’ll lose your job and rot in jail right ?”

Vincent remembered the exact words of his friend, their neighbour’s houseboy, when he told him he was attracted and wanted to sleep with his madam.

Vincent needed his salary.

That act was the least he could do.


Shadows ; The first time .

The first time was like this ;

Well , we were “young , wild and free ” We were in the university, far away from the prying eyes of our parents , we had time and space to do anything we wanted .

So we were coming back from a party , might have been around 11:00 pm , might have been later than that . We had a test the next day so we had to leave , if not , we would have passed the night .

The first sign that showed that we were in trouble was when our car broke down , all 6 of us stranded , in a place we weren’t familiar with , we tried to call for help with our mobile phones but we didn’t get through . Our mobile operators had lied , they were not everywhere we went , they didn’t have us covered .

Almost immediately , we saw headlights of a bus (or was it a mini – van ? ) . We flagged it down , got in with the 3 other male occupants and told them our destination , apparently , they were headed the same way.


So we woke up in a strange room , we must have slept off , and it was obvious we weren’t going to make it in time for the test . At first , we thought they were kidnappers , we thought they’d contact our families to ask for ransom but by the second day , two of us had left the room and they didn’t return, maybe they were ritualists ?

We tried to hide in the shadows , as each day passed , one more person disappeared . Hiding was useless , the light switches go on , the shadows disappear

Day 6. My turn.

The door opened and I turned quickly and glanced at the figure before me. He looked down at me , a wide grin on his face . He was dragging me to another room. In the room , three man were in a strange position, at first I thought they were praying , but the movement of their heads and hands was wrong. Only when I got a glimpse of a strange arm , apparently belonging to non of them , did I understand what they were doing . They were eating. They were cannibals !

One of them looked back and started walking towards me . I saw him swing the axe , I saw it coming at me. I saw his face. I saw the blood on his mouth.

My life didn’t flash before my eyes.

Little did he know however , just before he smashed my skull , I had converted to Buddhism , and I would soon be reincarnated.

This war had only just begun.

Shadows .

The light came on and the shadows disappeared . Shadows , switches …

“What are you doing Desmond , you stupid boy?!” A woman’s voice yelled.

I spun quickly and glanced at my mother.

“Err… no…”

“ Stop standing in the dark talking to your shadow in that sinister voice ! Especially at this time! Do you realize how late it is? Me and your dad are trying to sleep in here”

“Sorry mother.”

She stared at me with disappointment , she shook her head in disgust and left my room slamming the door behind her. I turned the lights off , they were damaging to my eyes.

“She thinks she knows all , think she can talk anyhow, well , I’ll show her ..” What I thought was mumbling soon turned into yelling.

Before I knew it the lights came back on as mother barged her way back in my room ; slipper in hand she grabbed me , bent me over and started spanking me. I screamed in agony.







“Now shut up , or I’ll give you a reason to cry about !” Angrily she left my room once more.

What a fool she was , I already had a reason to cry , she had just spanked me.

I needed to escape from this woman .

My plan ? It involved tying all of my clothes together . It was genius , before I knew it I had a long rope , made out of clothes! I thought it was only something that could be done in the movies but I proved everyone wrong.

I tied one end to the headboard of the bed and threw the other out of the window. Without a moments pause , I leapt out of my window , spinning mid-air because I’m stylish like that.

Alas , I forget that the headboard wasn’t actually connected to the bed, it flung towards the window; smashing the glass ; I fell to the ground with such power that I got grass stains on my jeans. My brand new jeans that mum had just bought.

I was definitely in trouble.

“DESMOND!!” Screamed my mother.

Before I could think of an escape plan to avoid another confrontation with mum , I tugged on my rope of cloths to pull myself up . The headboard came barreling out of the window and one of the headboards embedded firmly into my skull .

My brain squashed.

I was gone for good this time , I wasn’t going to avenge my first death .

The ‘Gift’ Of Life

Hello people,firstly I would like to apologize to our dedicated followers who have been deprived of a good post for months here at COA.Please accept my sincerest apology to all three of you.The truth is life has just been a rollercoaster in these past few months and my pen flew right out of my hand the moment we took off.I thought the idiot I left here would drop some lines but he prefers focusing more on studying in school so he’ll make a better future for himself rather than post regularly on this non-paying blog so I’ll keep my dear followers.Selfish Prick.

But it doesn’t matter now ‘cuz things are gonna change around here and I’ll go back to regularly-posting,follower-gaining amateur writer I’ve never been.

So I’d like to kick things off with the first ever poem that I’m gonna show anyone.Your honest comments will be appreciated,but remember I’m a newbie so try to be gentle 🙂 Ladies and Gentlemen,shall we?

Some say I’m a myth
Some say I’m a legend
Some worship me through priests
Others,my temple they have dreaded
I exist but am neither man nor beast
Even with worshippers who flock my shrine
And virgins who to appease me are doomed to die
I curse the fact that I exist

I have tried to die
Many times in fact
But the elder gods only lie
When they promise to rip out my god heart
Their punishments last a thousand years
But they don’t take away this burden of breath

That is why I hate the mortals
For after years of toiul they get eternal rest
They get to walk into that portal
With a bright light at the end
Yet they don’t treasure their short lives
And appreciate the beauty of life God made for their sake
Instead they seek to be gods like I am
Oh what a mistake man would wish he never made

For I too used to be a man
Tall and dashing,I won many sweethearts
Swimming in gold,I had many barns
And a castle with a room for every servant
But with my riches came hubris and I was ruthless
My gold became my family and I wanted no friends

So I challenged God for I didn’t fear death
And I wanted immortality,to enjoy my wealth
I was intoxicated and I didn’t know better
So God gave me death but didn’t let me die
But put me in charge of writing death letters
And take the souls of living men such as I

The reason for the season . R18

This post isn’t R18,tbh , it’s not rated at all,I just had to find a way to make you click the link . You’re welcome .

So it’s been long anything has been posted on this blog,well it’s because I decided not to post anything . Or you can say I had what they call “writers block”

And then I saw a notification,while I was away,someone nominated this blog for an award 💃💃💃💃. The liebster.

So the Liebster Award originated in Germany and Liebster means dearest or beloved, and Liebe is love. It’s usually given to blogs with interesting posts with less than a thousand followers.

The “official” rules :
1. Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog.
2. Display the award on your blog
3. Answer 11 questions about yourself, which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.
4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself.
5. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 1000 followers.
6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.
7. List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here.) Once you have written and published it, you
then have to:
8. Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it .

So,thank you for the nomination Peju . You should visit her blog

So these are her questions >

1) What are your full names?
-) Err,I just use one name officially tho . Layinka .

2)Where are you from?
-) Nigeria

3)When did you start blogging and why?
-) Can’t remember when , but it was because I thought people would visit the blog .

4)Fame or Riches, which would you rather have?
-) Depends,if my fame will bring riches,fine . If not , pass the riches please .

5)What are your favorite things to do?
-) Stroke my beards and wonder why I’m so awesome I like reading to children and helping old people cross the road.

6)What kind of 🎶 music do you like?
-) Any music 💃💃💃💃

7)What’s your favorite color ?
-) Blue , Black ( Please don’t tell me black isn’t a color)

8)What book 📖 or movie 🎥 would you like me to read /see?
-) Any book by Dan Brown and James Patterson .

9)Who are your favorite celebrities?
-) idk idk

10)What’s one random thing about you that you’d like me to know?
-) Check random fact no. 3

This thing is too long 😑😑😑

And now for 11 random facts
1) First things first,I’m the baddest.

2) I can cook

3) I’m the baddest

4) I’ve taken a nap at the bottom of a pool before (When you’re immortal,you can do anything)

5) I’m the baddest

6) I’m tall . So ladies,please forward your applications here

7) I’m the baddest

8)I’ve never woken up in a new Bugatti 😔😔

9)I’m the baddest still

10) I can type with my eyes closed

11) I am the baddest .

And now for my 11 questions 👇👇
1) Who are you ?
2) Are you happy with the current state of your life ?
3) What’s your plan B in life ?
4) What’s the most illegal thing you’ve done in your life ?
5) Prose or poetry, which do you think is easier to write ?
6) Do you think you’re an intelligent person ?
7)Are you fun ?
8)How many dogs are in Nigeria ?
9) Pick any two celebrities to be your parents ?
10)What is your least favorite thing about humanity ?
11) What’s the color of money ?

And now for my nominees
1) VunderKind – He’s probably been nominated 500 times already,but I think he’s awesome .

2) VincentAG – Brilliant mind laced with great ideas . Only problem is,he executes his work in a not so “reader intriguing way”

3) Read,Enjoy,Repeat process –

4) This guys too have probably been nominated already,but Wana is funny and DJniro writes well – PlaybookUtunu

5) This guy used to show a lot of promise . Then he disappeared . Check him out still Rapheal

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